“An elderly man was standing in line at the post office to buy stamps at the service counter. A young woman noticed that he walked with difficulty and offered to show him how to buy stamps from a machine to save time. The elderly gentleman said, ‘Thank you, but I prefer waiting. The machine won’t ask me about my arthritis’” (story by Dieter F. Uchtdorf).
Connections with others matter. To survive and thrive, we must be loved and love. A significant study of over 300,000 people determined the lack of strong relationships was found to increase the risk of premature death from all causes by 50%. This is equivalent to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and greater than the risks of obesity and the lack of physical activity!
In addition to the health benefits, we know having healthy relationships is essential to leading a happy and fulfilled life. Consider these gifts of love: shared jokes, comfort during sorrow, fun activities, hugs, someone who listens and gives good suggestions. Loving and serving others boosts our happiness and sense of well-being while increasing our gratitude and empathy. Making the world a little better always makes us a little better.
4 Ways to Build and Keep Strong Connections
1. Make relationships a priority in your life. Just as all living things require constant water, food, and sunlight, so do thriving relationships. Make the choice to put in the work to have quality relationships. Become a gracious receiver and a generous giver of love.
2. Love daily by asking yourself, “How have I loved today?” Of all the habits one could develop for health and happiness, daily loving may be the most important. Look for ways to be kind and generous–opportunities come in all sizes and shapes. A kind word, an act of service, a touch, listening without interrupting, gifts, compliments, words of affirmation, smiles, time, and attention are all ways to show love.
3. Recognize what relationships you need. Depending on your personality, you may need a lot of friends or just one or two. The grocery clerk, hair stylist, and veterinarian can be counted in your social circle as well as your church community, golf buddies, and co-workers. Any human connection, big or small, enhances your well-being.
4. Have someone you trust. Consider this question, “If you were put in jail, for whatever reason, who would you call at two am to come and bail you out?” It would most likely be a person who you can count on, who you trust, and supports you during times of thick and thin. We all need at least one relationship where we can be vulnerable and be our truest selves. These connections require extra attention but are worth the investment.
Summary
In your search for health and happiness, begin with an assessment of who loves you and who you can love. Find the people who will ask you about your arthritis and be the person who asks!
"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides." (David Viscott)