In her excellent book, The Hiding Place, Corrie ten Boom writes of her confusion when her sister began to thank God for the fleas in their barracks at Ravensbruck concentration camp. It was difficult to understand why they should thank God for horrible fleas. But Corrie followed her sister’s example and the Bible’s instruction to thank God in all things.

Not long after, they realized the guards had stopped coming into their barracks. Consequently, the women were not assaulted and were free to study Bible pages, giving them safety and hope. Later, they found out why the guards left them alone: the fleas.

Corrie ten Boom and her sister were masters of gratitude. Their practice of counting blessings in good times served them well during the harshest conditions imaginable. You, too, can have this level of gratitude–with practice.

Why Practice Gratitude

In our modern world where bad news and continual marketing are at our fingertips, it’s easy to succumb to fear and pessimism, and focus on what we don’t have or should be doing. To balance this condition, we must intentionally seek out that which is good and acknowledge the bounties we already possess.

Practicing gratitude turns our attention away from negativity and towards what is working in our lives. This approach lightens and brightens our outlook, releasing the pressure of constant worry and effort. While setting goals is important, gratitude balances looking forward with the joy of living in the now.

Four Types of Gratitude

Consider these four types of gratitude and which one you use the most:

Mindless Gratitude. This is the mindless expression of socially acceptable gratitude. Examples could be saying “thank you” to the person holding a door for you or thanking the person at the drive-up window without really noticing them.

Intentional Gratitude. This is when you are intentional in expressing your gratitude to someone. It’s when you look at someone and express gratitude with specifics. “I appreciate your work of bagging my groceries.” Intentional gratitude is also when you look for what’s going right in the day, balancing what’s going wrong. It’s finding beauty and wonder in nature. It’s making a deliberate choice to find the roses and smell them regularly.

Gratitude in Hard Times. When you find yourself in a hard place, this type of gratitude is being able to find the good in the messy experience. Examples could be cherishing tender conversations when a loved one is sick or grieving or the sweet relief that comes with a soft bed or a hot shower.

Gratitude for Hard Times. Perhaps the most challenging type of gratitude is when you are grateful for hard times. It’s recognizing that trials give us the opportunity to grow and learn valuable lessons that cannot be learned any other way. We don’t choose difficult experiences, but we can view them with gratitude because of the wisdom they give us.

Four Ways to Increase Gratitude

With intention and practice, you can become a master of gratitude. Here are four practices to try:

1. Change mindless gratitude into intentional gratitude. Add specifics when you thank another person. Look them in the eye and use their name. “Thank you, Emily, for helping me carry groceries into the house.” Sending a note in the mail sharing your detailed gratitude is an invaluable gift.

2. Identify three good things that happen to you each day. Consider how each one made you feel at the time and why it was good. Share your three good things with another person or write them down in your journal. Try it for two weeks and notice how your gratitude grows.

3. Recognize what small things are helping you get through life right now. Maybe it’s a favorite playlist that calms you down or gives you energy. Have a flat tire? Aren’t you thankful to have AAA and a cell phone!

4. Look for the lesson. If you’re in a hard time now, search for what you can learn or improve. If you’re in a good place, look back and see how you grew from your last difficult experience. Gratitude doesn’t spare us from sadness and pain, but it can give us perspective and soothe our feelings.

With intention and practice, you will discover there is always something to be thankful for–even fleas!

Written by Dr. Terri Anne Flint, LCSW